mondays are hard.

Mondays are hard. We all know and understand the shrinking, just stay in bed feeling we get when the alarm jerks us from our all too short sleep. It hurts. The school to do. The work to commute to. The towels to be washed. And the bathrooms to be swept. That sickeningly sweet sunshine seeping through the curtains hurts too. Don’t you wish it could be rainy and dreary? Then you’d have an excuse to stay in bed, make your coffee and binge watch Netflix all day long. But the weather needs to not be our excuse. Neither does, “But I deserve this.” Mondays can be the best day of our week – ahem – next to Friday of course. I struggle so much with getting up when, and I mean when my alarm beeps and glonks and doinks and causes me to think of how fabulous it would be to take a hammer to it. I tried this morning for instance. I set my alarm for 5:00 am. The sirens went off and I dragged myself across the floor to the alarm, switched it off, realized I was freezing. I stumbled to the closet in my room, grabbed my fleece blanket, and fell back in bed. All in the span of twenty seconds. I wasn’t even aware. I felt like I was in a trance. Like I was programmed to do this. To set myself up for failure. Because I woke up at 8:00 am. And was in a rushed state all the rest of the day. Rush to make your bed. Rush rush rush. Why don’t you draw a little and – “Oh, hey there Pinterest! How you been?” I accomplished a couple little drawings, and helped my Mom a little bit. I didn’t do barely anything on my to do list. I accomplished the bare essentials. Every morning, the thought to just stand up and be awake crosses my mind. Of course, two split seconds before I fall back asleep. I’m going to try harder tomorrow. To wake up. Be up. Stay up. I’ll make a to do list of only two or three things that I need to to. I’ll write. I’ll drink water, and think. I’ll do my school and breathe. It’ll be all right. 🙂

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